27 March 2010

God Have Mercy Upon the English Language

The youngest generation today is unfortunately marked by the hideous blight of phatic idiolect. That is to say, a good portion of the population are incapable of forming intellectual, well-thought-out sentences and it seems unlikely that future generations will be taught much better. It is surely a mark of a failing civilisation that over half of the population make themselves seem remarkably incompetent simply by opening their mouths.

The favourite words and phrases of society to-day seem to consist of "um", "uh", "er", "so like", and "yeah". How disgustingly common. The English language is rapidly beginning to sound like a language spoken by neanderthals; communication based on grunts and gurgles. Apart from the charming diction I have just listed, ugly and often vulgar slang words are more widely accepted and less widely understood. Dictionaries are throwing out several eloquent words, substantially narrowing the variety of words available, and including slang terms that were likely formed on a street corner or in a back alley from the mouth of an uneducated hipster.

This decline of the English language is not only grossly disturbing and frightful, but it also suggests the imminent death of civilisation and culture. We are moving backward at a speedy pace towards a severely undesirable end. The problem must be remedied.

You don't have to be a logomaniac to speak clearly and gracefully. Cut out the "filler noises" such as "um" or "like". No one wants to hear something that sounds like a mating animal when they're trying to have an intellectual discussion. Save those noises for the Discovery Channel. I cannot adequately express what a significant impact this advice can have. By simply avoiding such vulgarity as "um" one can seem up to one hundred times more intelligence while indulging in the opposite will result in being dismissed as an uneducated fool.


  1. Hello again. While online I rarely will speak as such, I do have some trouble speaking in public, often finding myself at a loss for words.. I don't really intend to, but I sometimes out of habit will utter the infamous "uh" enough to irritate many of my more refined friends.

    That being said, a subject most frighteningly true.

  2. D'accord. Even I struggle with this in everyday speech, but it is something that can be easily corrected with the proper application of oneself. It happens to the best of us. The issue is that most people don't bother to fix the issue. People are content with being average and sounding like fools. Another hideously vulgar slur is sprinkling the phrase "you know" throughout one's diction. Obviously, one does NOT know, so stop saying it.


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